Look What You Made Me Do
by Thequeenisalive
Summary: UNDER REVISION. Whilst Hope can be strong, Doubt can always cast it's own shadow.
1. Prologue

**Hello to anybody who is reading this. I have finally finished University and I will not be returning, giving me the opportunity to relook at some of the stories, I already have published and try to finish them. I hope that you enjoy this prologue**

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Marinnette couldn't place how exactly her life had reached this point. She supposed it was a series of small events that had slowly snowballed into this big mess, which she couldn't work out how to get herself out of it.

The trouble could have begun with finding those miraculous earrings. Whilst it was an honour, it was one that she felt she never asked for. It could have stemmed from taking them back after trying, unsuccessfully, to give them away.

It could have been from getting her friends involved. If she never gave Alya the fox necklace or given the turtle miraculous to Nino. If she had never lost the bee miraculous, causing Chloe to find it.

There was only one thing that Marinnette could agree with. She should never have helped that man. He was the root of her problems. He was definitely the cause for the start of her Jealousy.

If none of these events had happened, would she still be standing on the edge of this building, on the verge of death, with all weapons pointing at her?


	2. Chapter One

**Revised 26/12/2018**

 ***/*/***

Whilst she couldn't take Chat's continual flirting, she was starting to miss the times when it was just him and her. After the battle of Heroes Day, Hawkmoth was beginning to get more and more aggressive with his Akuma, meaning that just Chat and herself wasn't enough anymore.

The addition of Rena, Bee and Carapace meant battles were over faster than before, the three were really mastering what they could do with their powers and, when in battle, they were almost a force to be reckoned with. Chat seemed to almost welcome the three into the fold instantly, helping to train them and encouraging their growth in their skills. At the beginning so did Marinette, she had chosen, with the exception of Chloe, who would bear these miraculous, she knew the potential in each one of them. She never had a doubt in any of them that they couldn't ever continue to fight Hawkmoth, but within herself she did begin having her doubts.

If Marinette was to look back, it was never anything anyone did to her, but how her sight began to change of herself. One sleepless night, she decided to take a quick patrol, after hours of just lying in bed. She had nearly made her way back when she saw the four of them, training on top of the Arc de Triomphe Chat noticing her and giving a quick wave. She stood still for just a beat before returning the wave and quacking heading back home. She hoped after that exercise sleep would come quicker. Instead she lay there until the sun began to creep up thinking, why did I not know.

 ***/*/***

School was not that much better. It was evident that Nino and Alya had shared their identities with each other, very early on. The two of them had shared plenty of whispered conversations with each other, instantly clamming up when anyone else entered within ear shot. But what had shocked Marinette, is that just a few short days after what she had come across, Chloe seemed to also be involved within their circle. The girl had taken Marinette's seat next to Alya, who just shrugged when Marinette stopped dead in the doorway before taking a seat at the back. She stared down at the pair of them before quickly looking out of the window and taking a breath. Getting her tablet and book ready, Marinette took one last glimpse at the trio, who seemed to be looking at something on Alya's phone, before she prepared herself for the lesson. She vowed to just try and talk to Alya after the lesson, maybe she could come clean too.

 ***/*/***

The talk with Alya never ended up happening and in the days that had followed Marinette could never seem to catch any of them alone. She had only once complained to Tikki and had blurt out that she wanted to tell them the truth. The tiny Kwami had instantly scolded her, no one could ever know who she really was, not even her teammates. And whilst they could share their identities, it was too dangerous for Marinette to do the same. Tikki just couldn't understand why Marinette would want to do this, but then she also couldn't understand or acknowledge how alone Marinette was beginning to feel.

But Marinette kept her word. When Akumas began to attack she did what she was meant to do, fight, purify then leave. Whilst the other stayed back to congratulate each other or to help the victim, Marinette left, at first looking back after a short distance to make sure they were all ok but after a while she never looked back, after all they had stopped looking to her. Chat seemed to have taken the mantle of leader, something that Marinette didn't seem to mind and after some time didn't seem to care about either after all it seemed that without her actual input the team seemed to fight more efficiently without her, a point that had not yet been spoken out loud.

 ***/*/***

It had been a late battle, a man just upset over being let go of, had been taken over by an Akuma. Marinette had been late to the battle, after trying to escape from her parents' ever watchful gaze. She had decided that she needed to get back into a more positive mood, be more proactive and not just stand back and wait for them to finish the battle but to go back to how it used to be. But she had slipped up and had nearly gotten herself and Chloe injured in the battle, if it had not been for Chat's intervention. The man had been sent on his way and Marinette was hoping to just slip away.

"What was that?" Marinette turned back to face the blonde and, raising an eyebrow asked

"What do you mean?" Chloe took a step forward, pointing one manicured finger at her

"You nearly lost us the battle, you nearly got me hurt" Marinette looked around at the others, none of whom seemed to want to even make eye contact.

"I'm Sorry" She whispered, turning her back and beginning to wrap her arms around her waist.

"Sorry? Maybe you should just stop. Go back to just standing and waiting for us to do all the work and do the only thing that you are good at. It's just ridiculous that you even got a miraculous in the first place" Within those words Marinette just stopped, her own fears and doubts being spoken aloud by someone who was meant to be a team mate. Her hand fumbled for her yoyo on her belt, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. Just as she began to get ready to throw it, to get away from the scene and try again later when everyone was calmer, Chats voice was heard

"Chloe, come on" Marinette's' eyes widened. They had all been honest with each other, all of them knowing their real identities, their real names and, whilst Chat had tried several times to share this with her, she thought he was at least on the same page on keeping the secret. She quickly swung away from the rooftop leaving the four behind her. The voices and doubts in her head getting louder than before. _Not good enough, not wanted, always alone_.

She stopped under a bridge by the canal, de-transforming as she stopped, sobs causing her whole body to shake. Tikki watched her with concern in her eyes

"Marinette, you need to stop, please stop" Marinette curled her body into a ball, her eyes tightly closed as she cried uncontrollably. Tikki hovered nervously over Marinette, not knowing what she could possibly do to make her young charge feel better. It was then she saw it. The tainted black butterfly edging closer to the sobbing girl on the ground. Tikki panicked and as the butterfly closed in on Marinette and began to sink into one of the girls hairbands, Tikki melted back into the earrings.


End file.
